What is a Thanatologist (and how can they help me?)
After completing my masters degree in social work that specialized in trauma and bereavement, I knew that I still wanted more. I know I’ll never know everything there is to know about helping someone who is grieving (nor do I think any therapist will), but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try. Along my path to become the best grief therapist I can be, and through the recommendation of some of my grief mentors, I pursued becoming a Certified Thanatologist. But pretty much only my peers who also work in death and dying know what any of that means. So what does it mean to be a thanatologist and why does it qualify me to claim I’m a grief specialist?
First off, it’s not an infinity stones situation
The “thanato” in “thanatology” is referencing the Greek god Thanatos, not the Marvel villain Thanos. Which I think is way cooler, but the Marvel fans out there might disagree with me.
Son of Nyx and Erebus, Thanatos is the ancient Greek’s personification of death, thought of as a representation of peaceful death. He helps to shepherd souls to the underworld when they die. He’s not reaping their souls or delivering judgement, he’s the guide and companion for those who are crossing over. Pretty chill dude, kinda rough job.
The “-ology” part of the word is self-explanatory, so that once combined we have “thanatology” which is the scientific, psychological, and holistic study of death, dying, and bereavement.
What is a Thanatologist?
The Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) awards two levels of certification, the Certified Thanatologist and the Fellow of Thanatology to professionals who would like to signify that they have advanced training, knowledge, and experience working with death, dying, and bereavement. The Association for Death Education and Counseling states:
“Thanatologists are cross-disciplinary specialists who practice within the scope of dying, death, loss and bereavement. Thanatologists include front-line care providers, clinicians, practitioners, educators, researchers, administrators and others emerging from a wide variety of educational backgrounds, professions, and occupations.
A Thanatologist credentialed by ADEC possesses established evidence of both thanatology-related education and direct experience within the field and has demonstrated core knowledge of theory and application by passing a stringent, standardized certification exam. The Thanatologist credentialed by ADEC maintains certification by providing verified evidence of continued professional development at recertification as defined by the ADEC Credentialing Council.”
There are a bunch of requirements to become a Thanatologist that you can check out here but it basically boils down to 1) hold a professional degree, 2) have enough death and dying specific education 3) have actual real-life experience working in the field of death and dying 4) be recommended by your peers and 5) pass the certification exam. And then every few years you have to keep learning about death and loss in order to maintain your certification.
It’s not just some letters to go after your name, it’s a set of rigorous standards that you can trust. When you are working with a Thanatologist, you are working with someone who is an actual specialist in this, not just someone who took a class or two.
Why should I choose a Thanatologist as a therapist?
Most therapists receive at least some level of training in grief and bereavement. But this education is severely lacking when it comes to the actual practice of grief counseling. Especially for people with traumatic grief, the standard grief training that most therapists receive isn’t going to cut it. By seeing a Thanatologist, you are ensuring that the person you are working with is a grief specialist. They have gone above the standard level of understanding and are able to provide a far more effective and tailored therapeutic approach to address grief concerns. Of course, there are plenty of grief specialists in the world without a Thanatology certification, it isn’t required. You don’t have to be a Thanatologist to know how to treat grief, but you do have to have an incredible knowledge of grief to be a Thanatologist. So it’s a pretty solid way to ensure you are seeing the right kind of therapist.
Thanatologists don’t pathologize grief. We know that grief is a normal human response and understand how that normal human response can impact your life. Thanatologists aren’t going to treat you like there is something here to fix; grieving doesn’t mean you are broken. The approach from a grief specialist is going to be far more well-rounded and tailored to the unique experiences of grievers, not solely based on diagnostic criteria and what might or might not qualify as a mental health disorder. We understand that this shit is complicated and messy and doesn’t fit into the box of traditional therapy, so we aren’t going to try to make your treatment look like “normal” therapy.
Thanatologists are experts in death, dying, and bereavement. Nothing you can say is going to shock us. So often people who have experienced a traumatic death are treated like they are contagious. Or maybe you’ve been made to feel like you can’t actually talk about how you are feeling because you get that look from people, or pity, or some placating bullshit, or shock and horror at your real life experience. Your story is not too much here. You aren’t going to bum me out, or frighten me, or overwhelm me. The experience that is required for the Thanatology certification means that this isn’t the first time that I’ve had the honor and privilege of supporting someone through the most horrible thing that has ever happened to them. Don’t hold back, every part of your story is safe here.
Thanatologists love this. It’s not just a class or two; its years of training and professional experience and mentoring and studying. It’s a niche speciality that so many people need, but not enough therapists are trained in. Thanatologists are passionate about supporting people who are grieving. The greatest honor I have ever received (and will ever receive) is the trust that people have put in me when they invite me to support them in their grief.
Ready to work with a grief specialist?
If you are feeling like you need to talk to someone who really understands grief, you’ve found the right place. You can find a therapist who can really be a safe guide through the darkest moments of your life. Working with a specialist relieves you of the worries of whether or not this person is going to get it, and you can relax and start to heal.